The other day my sister and I were having one of our regular phone chats about life. Typically when either of us are experiencing a bad day we try to put a positive spin on it, but this time my sister said, “Sometimes it is just too exhausting to be positive!”That comment really got me thinking...just like choosing to relax on the couch instead of going to the gym, do our minds subconsciously find it easier to take a woe-is-me attitude instead of working hard to see the silver-lining?
I think it may be true.
As positive as I try to be, sometimes it is easier to let things get the best of you especially when the people around you are 'downers'. We all know those people that are like human black holes that come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed too.
So what can you do? I have tried my best to pass the optimist torch to others but it is not as easy as you think. The more I try to help the more I feel obligated to solve the problems of the energy drainers. Realistically I know that I’m not responsible for the person’s life or their negativity, but that doesn’t seem to prevent me from feeling guilty for their unhappiness.
I don't think people realize it but the negative world of our imagination tends to create a negative world that is real, and one that we are forced to live in. A perfect example is a day in the life of Debbie Downer. She always complains about life saying, “Nowadays young people are so rude and surly.” Then one day inside a coffee shop, she was greeted by a cheerful kid who asked what she would like. Sighing she ordered a medium sized regular coffee. When it arrived, she immediately started complaining. Pointing to the cup, she said, “This is medium? You should have told me your cups are so small; I would have ordered a large one if I knew.” Despite the long line, the kid behind the counter tried to be patient. Without a complaint, he took away the small coffee and replaced it with a large one. As soon as it arrived, Debbie looked at it and bellowed, “You call this regular? There’s not enough cream!” The kid behind the counter, who only moments ago was cheerful, was now upset and sarcastically replied, “Yes, for MOST people, this is regular, but I’ll put in more cream. Perhaps next time you may want to ask for DOUBLE cream!” After Debbie got her coffee she proceeded to say, “What did I say, kids these days are so rude.”
Yes, in Debbie’s world kids appear rude, but what she does not realize is she makes them so.
Complaining is like digging the rut you are in deeper and deeper. Each time you complain, it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out of the ditch you’ve created. To loosen the grip of this vicious habit, we need to become aware of our complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one. If more people did it, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to stay positive.
Imagine being in a small boat drifting in a river. And imagine being unaware that your boat has a motor. As long as you fail to use that motor you will be a captive of the river. You will be a prisoner without any control over your destination. Yet, the boat that we’re in does have a motor. We can use it to change course. That motor is our power of choice. All we have to do is choose to look for the good, for when we do so, that is all we will find!
