Half Empty or Half Full?

The other day my sister and I were having one of our regular phone chats about life. Typically when either of us are experiencing a bad day we try to put a positive spin on it, but this time my sister said, “Sometimes it is just too exhausting to be positive!”

That comment really got me thinking...just like choosing to relax on the couch instead of going to the gym, do our minds subconsciously find it easier to take a woe-is-me attitude instead of working hard to see the silver-lining?

I think it may be true.

As positive as I try to be, sometimes it is easier to let things get the best of you especially when the people around you are 'downers'. We all know those people that are like human black holes that come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed too.

So what can you do? I have tried my best to pass the optimist torch to others but it is not as easy as you think. The more I try to help the more I feel obligated to solve the problems of the energy drainers. Realistically I know that I’m not responsible for the person’s life or their negativity, but that doesn’t seem to prevent me from feeling guilty for their unhappiness.

I don't think people realize it but the negative world of our imagination tends to create a negative world that is real, and one that we are forced to live in. A perfect example is a day in the life of Debbie Downer. She always complains about life saying, “Nowadays young people are so rude and surly.” Then one day inside a coffee shop, she was greeted by a cheerful kid who asked what she would like. Sighing she ordered a medium sized regular coffee. When it arrived, she immediately started complaining. Pointing to the cup, she said, “This is medium? You should have told me your cups are so small; I would have ordered a large one if I knew.” Despite the long line, the kid behind the counter tried to be patient. Without a complaint, he took away the small coffee and replaced it with a large one. As soon as it arrived, Debbie looked at it and bellowed, “You call this regular? There’s not enough cream!” The kid behind the counter, who only moments ago was cheerful, was now upset and sarcastically replied, “Yes, for MOST people, this is regular, but I’ll put in more cream. Perhaps next time you may want to ask for DOUBLE cream!” After Debbie got her coffee she proceeded to say, “What did I say, kids these days are so rude.”

Yes, in Debbie’s world kids appear rude, but what she does not realize is she makes them so.

Complaining is like digging the rut you are in deeper and deeper. Each time you complain, it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out of the ditch you’ve created. To loosen the grip of this vicious habit, we need to become aware of our complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one. If more people did it, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to stay positive.

Imagine being in a small boat drifting in a river. And imagine being unaware that your boat has a motor. As long as you fail to use that motor you will be a captive of the river. You will be a prisoner without any control over your destination. Yet, the boat that we’re in does have a motor. We can use it to change course. That motor is our power of choice. All we have to do is choose to look for the good, for when we do so, that is all we will find!

Summer Bliss

We all have family traditions. Sometimes they are as simple as a holiday dinner at a grandparent’s house or a trip to the same tropical destination every year. As time passes some of these traditions have to change and new one’s start up. I know some people resist breaking a tradition but I have always been one to embrace it. I’m actually looking forward to creating many new traditions with my own family one day.

One of my favourite traditions is the “End of Summer Day” that Dave and I started a few years ago. As September approached everyone starts to feel sad, so we thought of doing something fun each year in order to always end the summer on a good note.

This year we took a ferry to Toronto Island and spent the day there. In my 27 years of living in Ontario I have never been to Toronto Island. It was beautiful! We toured the islands on old-school bikes, which I must say is the only way to go. We had a picnic, we ate ice cream, and we relaxed on the beach. I have always been grateful to live in Canada, and seeing the beauty of Toronto Island just made this feeling even stronger. Sometimes we think that we need to leave the country in order to have a vacation, but to me going to places like Toronto Island or even up to cottage country is all I need to do to feel content. Vacation is a state of mind. If you are saving money like me but are desperate for a break from the every day, just look at all the things you can do right here in Ontario.

So my advice to everyone is don’t be scared to be a tourist for a day in your own country and definitely think of ways you can start your own traditions.

I hope you dance.

This past weekend was great from start to finish. The August long weekend has always been my favourite. I went to the bar, I camped, I ate, I laughed, I tanned, I danced. Boy did I dance! I found myself dancing it up Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night all at different events. I just can’t get enough of dancing and I'm one of those people that doesn’t need a drop of alcohol to do it. Just give me a fun beat or a song I can sing to and I will dance until the sun comes up.

I starting thinking of all those people, especially men, that hold back when then are at the bar or out listening to a band. I wish I could convince these people that they are really missing out. The excuse that most people use is “I’m a terrible dancer!” which is code for they don’t want to embarrass themselves. My response is that is there are only a few people that are amazing dancers the rest are just having fun, so get over yourself and start moving! No one expects you to bust out JT or Beyoncé moves. I'm not good by any means, but if the beat is good I just go with the flow. Throw your hands up, lift your legs, do the two-step, lean-back, do whatever you feel like doing because dancing is way better then watching. Beside how fun it is, did you know that dancing can also burn as many calories as riding a bike? Imagine burning all those calories and not having to move more then a few feet in any direction or wear those horrible biking shorts!

While we may not all be hip-hopping into our nineties, dancing is one activity we can (hopefully) do for the rest of our lives and the sociability it provides is part of its allure. It's a great way to make new friends, be creative and expressive, and just plain old enjoy life.

So like the song says, “If you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”

Natural Energy

I try to keep an open mind about everything, from religion to trying new food. I’m not completely into holistic thinking but more and more I have started to believe in the concept of people being made up of or projecting energy.

Have you ever noticed the impact different people have on your mood?

For example, have you ever been around a group of negative people at work and after spending time with them you no longer feel eager to do anything. On the flip side, have you ever been feeling low but the moment a friend walks into the room you start to feel better?

I have also come to appreciate the fact that some people have stronger energy than others. Perhaps the level of energy projected is relative to persons confidence or maybe it is simply genetic makeup. All I know is that not everyone has the same impact on me.

My Pilates teacher is the person that has really turned me into a human energy believer. I love my Wednesday night class. Being in that room is not just about exercise for me. I find it is the one place where my mind is completely at ease. It isn’t because of the relaxing music or the movements, but instead it is my teacher. The moment I see her, my body feels stronger and my mind relaxes. Her energy is strong.

A few months ago my mind was going a million miles a minute during my class. I had not said a word to her but during one of the exercises she came over put her hands on my head and whispered quietly, “Stop thinking”. I instantly let out a long exhale and let go of my thoughts. For those of you who know me, you know that making me mellow-out can be a difficult task, but somehow she has the power. As a result, I find I’m drawn to her because my mind and body feel good around her energy.

Maybe I am the only one that can relate to this but I hope not. There is nothing better then meeting people that make you feel good by just being near them. I can only hope that my energy has the same impact on someone.

The Green-Eyed Monster

This year more than any other I find that I’m suffering from a terrible thing. Normally it just comes and goes, but lately I just can’t shake it. I’m suffering from a great bout of envy and hoping that someone reading this could provide me with a cure.

Envy is often associated with the colour green or a green-eyed monster because nothing good ever comes from it. Envy is definitely different from being jealous. To me jealously is when you are resentful to the people who have what you desire. I'm not that way at all. I’m very happy for all my friends that are successful. Actually, I try to be a super fan for everyone I am close to and will do everything I can to help them. Envy on the other hand is wanting what others have, desiring to possess what they possess. You can be envious of tangible and intangible things like a car, relationships, wealth, and good looks.

I am envious of so many things right now that I’m beginning to realize that I have a problem. I have house envy, vacation envy, car envy, beauty envy, fitness envy, intelligence envy, engagement envy, style envy, and much more.

I know that I'm more fortunate than a lot of people, but after awhile that reasoning is not enough to subside my feelings. I’m grateful for the things that I have been given and have experienced. I’m also proud of what I have accomplished on my own. I’m a smart woman but for some reason I can’t figure out why I'm not perfectly content right now. I’m always looking for the next thing to accomplish, what I can do to improve my life, or looking for something fun and exciting to happen.

If Dr.Phil was reading my entry I’m sure he would say my feelings have something to do with my confidence. If it were Gary Zukav (all from Oprah by the way) he would say that my feelings stem from a fear of something. Maybe they are both right. I do lack confidence in myself. Hence why I thrive in environments where I get constant reassurance and compliments. On some level, I guess I also fear what the future holds for me. But knowing both of these things doesn’t change the way I have been feeling this year. Perhaps it is just another symptom of the quarter life crisis!

Like most things, I'm sure this will eventually pass but in the meantime I need to know if I'm the only one that is experiencing these feelings.

She works hard for the money. So hard for it honey!

Well I did it.

I can officially cross one more thing off my list of things to do in this lifetime. On Saturday I hosted my very first garage sale. To those of you who have not attempted one, let me be the first to say it is a lot harder then it sounds but should be something everyone experiences.

Growing up my family was never into garage sales. My parents would never have one let alone go to one. Instead we were more like pack rats and kept everything in our house. However this year I have found myself wanting to purge. The feeling of getting rid of junk and things I have been holding onto for no reason is uplifting! I have become addicted to decluttering and hope to encourage others to do the same.

So in light of my new found purging passion I decided to have a garage sale. Initially in my mind it was going to be small but once my boyfriend, his family, and my family got involved it got a little out of hand. We had a ton of stuff but good stuff. In my mind we should have made thousands of dollars, which in the garage sale world translates into a few hundred dollars.

We setup shop at Dave’s Aunt’s house, which was the best place to be. There were a ton of avid shoppers ranging from the sweet and timid type to the snarling, bully type. We got rid of most of our items and gave the remainder away to a reusable centre.

Now that it is all said and done, I'm glad I did it.

Besides the extra cash, I would have to say my favourite part was doing it with Dave. I always find working together on something whether it is painting a room or doing a garage sale builds on our relationship. We do make a good team.

Besides that, I learned that deep down I love selling things. I’m better in a retail setting but overall I love chatting it up with people and convincing them to get something. Mark my words people, one day I will find a way to work that side of me into a million dollar career.

I also learned that garage sales are not for me. I’m not afraid of a little hard work. Being a hard worker is part of being a Burroughs. That being said, I will only put in 110% when I know the outcome it worthwhile. Thankfully Dave and I made a lot of money to put into savings, but for the lack of sleep, cuts and bruises, and sore feet I would have rather given the stuff away to a charity and spent the day at the spa!!

For those of you who continue to have annual garage sale I say, “Much respect!”

Looking for some inspiration.

I’m sorry for lengthy delay between my last posting to now. I have lost a little bit of inspiration lately along with being consumed by the socializing that come along with summer. I promise to write again soon, but for now you will have to settle with a thought...

“Since birth modern women have been told we can do and be anything we want. Be an astronaut, head of an internet company, a stay at home Mum. There aren’t any rules anymore and the choices are endless and apparently they can all be delivered right to your door. But is it possible that we gotten so spoiled by choices that we’ve become unable to make one. That a part of us knows that once you choose something; one man, one great apartment, one amazing job, another option goes away. Are we a generation of women who can’t choice just one from column A. Do we all have too much to handle or can we really have it all?”

The Power of Music

I was out for a run today with my trusty side-kick Mr. iPod, when I started to lose my energy. You know that feeling you get when your body wants you to stop, find a couch, and park it?

Well I was about to cave into those feelings when a new upbeat song came on. All of a sudden I got this burst of energy to keep going. For those 3 minutes and 45 seconds I thought that I was unstoppable. Is it because I'm a super fit? No, it was because music is a powerful thing.

I love music. No matter what I'm doing, I have to have music on. At night time I like to listen to soft relaxing music. When I'm getting ready in the morning I like to listen to fun music that I can sing too. When I'm sad I like to listen to music that makes me cry. I even find that music helps me remember those special moments in my life. Haven’t you ever heard a song that felt like it was was written for you because the words really captured what you were feeling? Basically music has always been a constant in my routine but I don't think I have ever truly acknowledged its importance in life. I think we take it for granted.

For years people have been conducting studies that have resulted in hard facts about the power of music. Quite simply, music is good for you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Particular sounds, tones, and rhythms have been proven to strengthen the mind, unlock the creative spirit and miraculously even heal the body. A perfect example of this is the phenomenon called The Mozart Effect. It offers dramatic accounts of how doctors and health care professionals use music to deal with everything from anxiety to cancer, high blood pressure, even mental illness. Students who sing or play an instrument score higher on standardized test than the national average. During strenuous exercise the upbeat music can lessen fatigue and release endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, like what happened to me. It is even documented that half an hour of classical music produces the same effect as ten milligrams of Valium. That is crazy people!!!

So the next time you want to sit down and watch the television, try turning on the radio instead. Who knows, maybe in twenty years they will realize that listening to a Lionel Richie song at least three times a week will reduce your chances of getting cancer. A girl can always dream!!

I’m AMAZING!

I was at a wedding shower last night that consisted of a lot of laughs and some good old-fashion bowling. I am a terrible bowler. I may have a few good one’s but I realized that they are few and far between a.k.a the lucky one’s. My lack of talent sparked this entry.

Have you ever noticed that no one ever says that they are great at something, sports in particular? Now, I do not know any professional athletes (minus Mike Iggulden – soon to be the next big name in hockey...haha!) so I don't include them in this discussion.

When asked if you are good at a sport have you ever said, “Yes, I’m amazing!”?

Last night I listened to everyone say they were not good at bowling yet many were really good. You can say you are good at your job or cooking, and even admit you are good looking but never in a sport. Is it because sports can be unpredictable and you want to avoid embarrassment or is it the thrill of exceeding someone’s expectations? I often wonder if it is a culture thing. Canadian’s are known to be considerate and somewhat passive. Is it ingrained in us not to brag even though we may be really good at something?

I don’t know the answer but I have really started to notice how many people do this. So to change things up a little, the next time someone asks me if I’m good at golf, I think I may say, “I’m incredible” just to see their reaction.

By the way, I’m only decent at best.

Seat 12C

Watching the news and reading the paper can be addictive. There is always so much going on from shootings to political platforms, but lately the one story that really caught my attention was the imbecile who traveled with tuberculosis.

Health authorities around the world have been scrambling to track passengers from two transatlantic flights after the unidentified 32-year-old man from Georgia supposedly ignored strict advice not to travel and flew to Europe for his wedding and subsequent honeymoon. The man was infected with a rare but dangerous case of "extensively drug-resistant tuberculosis" or XDR-TB. This form of tuberculosis is estimated to be fatal in more than half of the cases.

After flying from Atlanta to Paris, the newlyweds had already passed through Athens and the Greek islands before the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) tracked him down on his cell phone in Rome. They told him his infection had progressed to XDR-TB and asked him to turn himself in to Italian health authorities. He was also placed on a U.S. no-fly list. Told he would be placed in isolation at a hospital in Rome until the CDC figured out how to proceed, the man and his wife decided to circumvent the no-fly order by returning home via Canada. They flew from Rome to Prague and then boarded the flight to Montreal the same day. Unfortunately, Canadian authorities were unaware that an American infected with a potentially deadly form of tuberculosis was on a plane to Montreal until the day after he landed.

The man proceeded to contact the CDC after arriving back in the United States, where he agreed to go into isolation in a New York hospital before he was transferred to Atlanta on a CDC plane.

This is unpalatable behaviour!

Granted, I think it is bad that something so serious was missed or not communicated amongst the airlines, but to me this is not the real issue. The real issue is - when did people stop taking responsibility for their own actions? It is not the airlines responsibility to keep this man from flying. He is a grown man. This man was told to not fly and did. This was a selfish act in what is becoming an "it's all about me" society, and it makes me sad. Instead of thinking of himself he should have been thinking about the children he may have infected or a senior citizen sitting near him whose immune system could have been low. He may survive this disease but others that encountered him may not. This man's actions and disregard for others may cost people their lives. It is a form of murder, similar to people who knowingly have HIV and do not tell the people they have intercourse with.

This incident makes me so angry that I would be speechless if I ever saw this man.

I have heard a rebuttal on the news that the man did not know it was "that bad". My response to this is simply bull. He blatantly avoided flying into the U.S because he knew he would have been stopped. He also contacted the CDC as soon as he returned, which means he knew he was carrying a serious disease and needed care. This is an open and shut case - guilty!!

I hope that the people who were on his flights have not been infected. As for everyone else, I hope the lesson reinstates in all our minds that you and you alone are responsible for your actions, as well as the consequences.

Think first. Speak second.

Have you ever been at the office or out in public and have someone say, "Boy, you look tired today!" We all know this is really code for "Boy, you look like crap today!"

So what happens when you get this comment and you are not tired at all. Do you take it personally?

This happened to me the other day and I felt like saying, "I actually feel pretty good today, but thanks for the feedback". However, being the polite Canadian that I am and not wanting someone to feel uncomfortable, I said that I was feeling very tired.

This blatant disregard for a persons feelings is something I have to discuss. Do people ask questions like this to make themselves feel better or perhaps they want to find out the dirt of why you are tired? Even if the person is tired, don't you think they know that and therefore do not need others pointing it out? Either way, I don't think enough people have watched Bambi to learn the wise lesson of "if you can’t say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

I will be the first to admit that this comment has come out of my own mouth before, but now I am more conscience of it. Instead of saying comments that most people do not want to hear, I try and give comments that make people feel good about themselves. It is a small thing to do, but I know that a compliment goes a long way on me. I try to live by the notion of treating others how I would like to be treated. I compliment people when they get their hair cut, when they have a shirt on that brings out their eyes, or try to remember significant information a person has told me in order to bring it up another time.

These are the comments that should be coming out of our mouths. The kind that makes a persons day.

So next time instead of “Boy, you look tired!” how about saying, “You have a beautiful smile.”

What's your SSB?

My favourite show is and always will be Sex and the City. The title does not do it justice for the brilliant characters and lessons that come out of each and every episode. I know this may sound shocking but I can personally relate to Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and yes, even Samantha.

In one episode, Carrie talks about how all women have a SSB or Secret Single Behaviour. In this instance the word single actually does not refer to your relationship status. The key to an SSB, your Secret Single Behaviour, is that it is something you do indulgently and exclusively when alone because the presence of another person, especially a guy, ruins it because it makes you self-conscious about your utterly bizarre behaviour.

Some examples of SSB include:

• Examining your pores up close in a mirror for at least an hour
• Eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream before it even has a chance to melt
• Singing in front of the mirror with nothing but socks on

I started to think about what my SSB is. Turns out that I do quite a few things to lift my spirits when I'm alone. Perhaps that is why I’m a generally happy person. As much as I love being out on the social circuit, I really cherish my alone time too. As I have said to many of my girlfriends, you have to be comfortable being alone before you can be with someone else (another topic, for another time).

I will not indulge all my SSB’s since then they would no longer be secret, but I will tell you one. I’m a huge lover of music and listening to it makes me super happy. So when I’m alone I love to play my favourite tunes of the moment, then proceed to sing and dance around my house. What makes this bizarre is that most of the time I’m cleaning while I’m performing this little show (yes I am Monica Gellar from Friends - cleaning gives me pleasure!).

So come on readers! Ladies, guys, ‘marrieds’ and ‘singletons’, tell me your SSB and maybe we can help those who need to be inspired.

iPod, DVR, Blackberry...oh my!

I think I sit on the fence when it comes to technology. What I mean when I say that is sometimes I think it is the best thing that has happened to society, but then sometimes I feel that we may have been better off when life was simpler. It is like the paradox of our time i.e. more conveniences but less time.

I can still remember the day when my Grandfather got cable television. He was so frustrated at the amount of new channels that he said he wanted to quote, “Throw a brick at the screen!” Little did he know that in less then twenty years the ten new channels would turn into two hundred plus.

Many argue that as we venture further into the frontier of technology we proceed with a slow death of society, by losing culture and ultimately a sense of self. To a certain extent this may be true, but realistically if we cease to progress will we still be able to survive?

There are so many advantages and disadvantages of technology that it does make for a great topic of discussion. On the positive side, technology has given us the ability to create shortcuts that can make our jobs and daily tasks easier. It has allowed us to not only cure diseases but prolong life. We are able to travel to across the world, communicate with anyone we please, and have access to a vast amount of information 24 hours a day in order to make better decisions.

We all know there is a lot of good, but we have also seen some of the problems with technology and there are still an awful lot of unknowns out there that will be changing by the day.

The biggest problem with technology is that it makes it easier for people to do almost anything, which means that people have less and less to do, which in turn results in more laziness, less activity, less effort,less patience and more free time, which can be taken as being a very unwholesome thing. Technology has also caused a lot of people to lose their jobs, and has created few jobs in return. It has eliminated the notion of personal privacy and caused a lot of people to forget what it is like to truly relax. How many of you can go one week without checking your email or using your cell phone?

The more advanced technology gets, the less control humans have. So if you think about it, technology could backfire on humanity in which humans are unable to live without it.

The one thing that keeps me on the positive side of technology is not HD television or my fabulous iPod, but the kind of technology that keeps you in touch with the people you care about. The best example is my webcam. This little piece of technology allows me to see my niece and sister as often as I want. So even though we are a four hour plane ride away, the webcam allows me to interact with them everyday and therefore I don't miss out on special moments.

So perhaps technology is amoral, neither good nor bad. It’s what we do with it that makes it good or bad. I think everything in moderation is ok. However, if you are unable to do that, at least try your best to use technology for good like sending a text message that makes someone smile or capturing precious moments on your video camera.

As for what the future holds in terms of techonology...we will just have to wait and see.

Doggie Love

We would like to think that in our relationships we give unconditional love, and by that I mean you love your significant other for who they are and don’t want them to change. I have come to the realization that no human being is actually capable of giving such love. The only thing on this earth that can and does is a dog. (Sorry cat-lovers, it is only dogs)

A dog’s love is like no other. They don’t care what you wear, how much money you make, if you are popular or if you are having a good or bad hair day. They just love you for you.

The best example is in their greeting. There is no greater feeling then coming home to a dog. They are over the moon to see you! Even if you were away for two minutes they still give you that loving feeling. They run around with excitement, they make exciting noises and are anxious to get your attention. The best part is that it is sincere. No men are capable of showing such excitement, especially for a woman.

In light of talking about dogs, I would like to say a few words about our newest puppy Tess a.k.a. Tessie shown in the picture. She has helped bring this realization on. Our eldest dog is so sweet and gentle. Tess is crazy, loud, a trouble-maker and in your face, but is also the most loving dog we have ever had. She loves to cuddle and kiss your face. When she sleeps she has to be touching or on one of us, including her sister. During the day she needs to be around us at all times whether we are cooking, working on the computer or having a bath... it is guaranteed that Tess will be there! She just stares at you like she could not love anything more. She basically needs constant love and attention and as much as she can drive me crazy, her sweet face brings out the soft side in me.

Dogs are so much more than pets. They are one of those things in life that make me happy. I may not have a dog when I start a family, but I can acknowledge the level of love they give to the people close to them - it's unconditional. If only men could be this wonderful.

It’s Human Nature

“Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago.”

These profound words were spoken by Danny Archer (Leo) in the fab-u-lous movie Blood Diamond. I remember them well because I thought of how accurate the statement was, especially in light of the recent school shooting.

Reading and watching the story unfold of the Virginia Tech shooting is hard to absorb. However, as sad as I feel for the family and friends of the innocent victims, part of me is not shocked by it. With all the murders, war, and horror movies that surround us daily we are so accustom to seeing violence that I think I’m immune to it.

To get a clear understanding of the incident I read a few articles in the Globe and Mail today and amongst all the upsetting detail the one thing that bothered me was the immediate blame placed on the school. This always makes me angry. Instead of focusing on why this happened or how to prevent it, it seems to be human nature for the need to place blame. Why do we do this??? Is it so we can feel better about the world we live in or do we think that by blaming one person or group it won’t happen again? If you stop to notice you will see that this need to blame happens all the time. For example, once the Twin Towers collapsed the discussion quickly turned to blaming the architects and how the buildings were made.

We are only human and as a result I believe it is in our nature to think that people are good at heart. Perhaps that is why mistakes happen and why we are not always prepared for such circumstances. If our society was a little more understanding of this notion I believe the president of Virginia Tech would be able to say, “We just never thought it would happen to us, so we didn’t know how to handle it.” To me, that is fair and honest answer. How is a school ever supposed to be prepared for something like this? We can say, “I would have done this!” or “They should have done that!” but you really don't know what you would do until you actually experience it. The school was delayed in communicating to its students but at this point there is nothing to gain by placing blame.

If you are one of those people that need to place blame, I suggest you could go as far back as our ability to buy guns in the first place. Blame gets people nowhere, it is how you move forward that makes all the difference.

That's what friends are for.

I had the privilege of going to Jamaica to visit a good friend of mine from high school. It had been about 4 years since I had seen her and now that I’m back from a great trip, I started to think about my friends.

When you are in high school it seems like you could never have enough friends. You could have twenty from school, ten from camp, and another bunch from the sports teams you played on. Then you start to go through different stages in your life those numbers start to diminish and let me be the first to say that this is a good thing.

Like many things in life, quality is more important than quantity. By quality I mean the friends that are there for you, that you have fun with, and that support the person you are or want to become. I must say I have some lovely friends. They are each different and brilliant in their own way. I could not imagine my life without my friends.

There are the one’s you go on walks with, the one’s who you call to talk about anything, the one’s that make you laugh, the one’s that stick up for you, and the one’s that know you better than you know yourself. There are also those friends that live far away and those that you only talk to once every few months. However, you still cherish them because you know the moment you see each other again they will fall right back into your life. These are the type of friends that you keep as we get older. We no longer need friends to feel popular but rather to bring happiness into our life.

There was a great article written in Time Magazine in 2004 titled, “The Science of Happiness.” It discussed what science has discovered when it comes to making the human heart sing. Surprisingly it wasn’t a good education, children, marriage or even wealth. The answer was having good friends.

One of my 2007 resolutions is to really cherish my friends or should I say be their #1 fan. We all take things for granted sometimes and as a result we don’t take the time to say what we love and admire about one another. If you agree with me, add it to your 2007 resolutions list… based on research, it will do more for you than going to the gym.

If you had to choose...

If you had to choose one feature that you first notice on a person, what would it be?

Some people say smile. Some say arms, while other say hands. There are also people like my Mum who look at how clean they keep their shoes.

For me it is the eyes, especially on men. I think eyes are the most unique thing a person can have. I guess that it is why it is the one organ on my donor list that I just can’t part with.

Without a person saying a word you can sense what they are like through their eyes. As an old Yiddish proverb says, “The eyes are the mirror of the soul”. You could meet someone that acts tough but when you look into their eyes you know they are actually gentle at heart.

Being the eye enthusiastic that I am, I can say that I do not have a preference. It is all in how they are presented. They could be blue or green or dark brown. However when it comes to men, my test is to look directly into them and if I start to forget about everything else around me...well then it’s love! (I’m a hopeless romantic)

Baby Face Theory

Lately I seem to be surrounded by either newborn babies or wonderful women about to have babies. Amongst all the baby talk there is one question that always becomes a part of the discussion - “I wonder who the baby will look like?”

It is time to stop the wondering.

As I have mentioned in previous entries, I have a lot theories. In time I hope to divulge them all to you in hopes of making you think of your own. One of my personal favourites tackles the daunting question of who our babies will look like. I must make a disclaimer now that this theory is only 99.9% accurate. I will admit that I have found a few instances where it doesn’t apply however that seems to be the case for most research.

My “Baby Face Theory” is as follows:

The first born child will look like the father and the second will look more like the mother. Then the third goes back to the father and so on and so forth. I’m sure some of you are thinking that this is a crazy theory but if you put it to the test you will see just how accurate it is.

So fellow blog readers, I put the challenge out there to test my theory and let me know if you agree.

Young at heart.

When you’re young your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life there’s no safety net.

Most people who know me would say I am very optimistic. I do try to learn from every experience and turn it into something positive. However, sometimes I fall off the sturdy rails of the positive track and instead of having fun, I get scared.

So the question is when did it stop being fun and start being scary? Why do we lose that excitement for life that little kids always have?

I think it is when we start to compare ourselves to others, when we try to accommodate everyone, when we become practical but lose faith and hope, and when we lose sight of how there are many people less fortunate.

I want to make the right decisions in my life but too often I find myself wanting others to make them for me because I’m scared to make those big leaps. Well after a little soul searching I have decided to leave fear being and start having fun again. There may not be a life safety net, but there are those people you can rely on to help break the fall. I’m still going to look before I leap because I’m not that spontaneous, but I’m going to have a little more faith in that everything is going to be ok. Actually, it’s going to be great!

So the next time you see a little kid having fun, like my niece in this picture, let that be a reminder of enjoying the journey of life.

Did Snow White ever really look in the mirror?

You know what is scary? When you look in the mirror and notice that your tan has faded so much during the winter that your entire body is the same colour as your boobs!

We all know that the skin colour on our chest (for women) is the purest representation of our natural skin colour. It is the one area that never totally gets direct sunlight, unless you are in Europe with the rest of the topless tanners. Infact the chest area is often used to measure how well we are tanning.

So in the winter, months and months will pass without your body seeing the light of day and it is not a good thing. I find my confidence in my looks definitely hits an all time low. Sure the dermatologists think that no tan is a good thing, but lets just mention all the reasons why a tan is just fab-u-lous:

1. You don’t have to wear makeup
2. All your clothes look better on
3. Imperfections are harder to spot
4. Confidence increases dramatically

It is always this time of year where I’m torn between going to the tanning bed or waiting until summer. I know that beds are bad, but I can’t stand to look at myself any longer. Isn’t everything ok to do in moderation? My thought is that I could go to the tanning bed a couple of times and then call it a day.

All I can say is that I’m so jealous of those people with olive skin, my boyfriend being one of them. They do not know how great they have it!

Change the world with a wave.

There are a lot of terrible drivers out there, especially in the winter time. I can’t decide if it is because people are distracted or maybe they never truly learned the rules of the road. Sometimes I want to yell out the window and say, “What is wrong with you people?”

Now I will admit that I make mistakes from time to time but I think the one main difference between me and the other guy is that I always wave. I think a honest wave makes all the difference.

Have you ever had someone cut you off on the highway? Do you get angry?

Well have you ever noticed how if they raise their hand and wave, that your mood quickly changes? This simple gesture is a way of acknowledging the mistake or thanking the person for understanding. In my mind, this acknowledgement makes it all ok.

My theory is if you cause another car to change the way they are driving because of your actions, then they deserve a wave. I challenge everyone to feel the difference. The next time you are cut off on the road, see if a simple wave changes your mood. If it does, please make the effort to start doing it too.

Stylish or just plain annoying?

There are a few purchases that I have regretted, especially when you know you should be saving money. I bought this delightful sweater around Christmas time. It is the kind of sweater that works with many outfits since it is loose and just wraps around you, but there is a problem that I have been in denial about…it is made with Angora!! So it sticks to everything I wear underneath it, any chair I sit on, and every innocent bi-standard that I stand next too. Tonight the sweater has found a new place to cling too - my dryer. I put it in there to get it partial dry before hanging and now anything that enters my dryer has these little fluff things on it.

So the question is, do I keep adoring it or give it away?? I think I need to sacrifice this piece in order to save the rest of my wardrobe and my sanity. My advice to all shoppers out there is if you see the word "Angora" think twice or at least make sure that there isn't a lot in it.

This strong dislike of things clinging to my clothes is exactly why I will never own a cat or a dog that sheds!

And just like that, we are old…

I got an invitation in the mail today that instantly made me feel old. It was an invite to my 5 year reunion at Laurier, my University. Then I started thinking about turning 28 this year..... or should I say “twenty-great”..... and how I don’t know if I’m ok with it.

Am I the only one that used to think that by now I would be married, with 3 kids, and have the career of my dreams or at least a BMW??

Well that reality did fade quickly for me, but it is still hard to accept it. I know that sounds crazy to think that I am old but I think it is legit and I will tell you why. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m full of theories and I have one about ages. Instead of one age hill to go up and down I believe there are many, and I’m at the end of the first one.

The first hill is 1-30, where life is unpredictable, fun, and scary all at the same time. There are a lot of “firsts” and there are a lot of things you get to learn about yourself. The next hill is 31-50; this involves making your mark in the world and helping those younger than you learn from your experiences. The second last hill is 51-70. These years are great. You are confident with who you are and want to enjoy life to the fullest. The last hill is 71 to the indefinite end. I would rather not talk about this hill, but lets just say that you start to rely on others and cherish time spent with the one’s you love. Does this make sense to everyone?

SO I am the oldest of my group right now and let me tell you this age is hard and I think I have the right to vent about it. It is hard not to think about whether you are on the right track or think of what could have been. My advice to the people that are at the end of the first hill, we have to think the best is yet to come. We should be fully equip with the tools to move forward, so with a little help from our friends and significant others lets blow out those candles and get ready to start the next hill.