It’s Human Nature

“Sometimes I wonder... will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize... God left this place a long time ago.”

These profound words were spoken by Danny Archer (Leo) in the fab-u-lous movie Blood Diamond. I remember them well because I thought of how accurate the statement was, especially in light of the recent school shooting.

Reading and watching the story unfold of the Virginia Tech shooting is hard to absorb. However, as sad as I feel for the family and friends of the innocent victims, part of me is not shocked by it. With all the murders, war, and horror movies that surround us daily we are so accustom to seeing violence that I think I’m immune to it.

To get a clear understanding of the incident I read a few articles in the Globe and Mail today and amongst all the upsetting detail the one thing that bothered me was the immediate blame placed on the school. This always makes me angry. Instead of focusing on why this happened or how to prevent it, it seems to be human nature for the need to place blame. Why do we do this??? Is it so we can feel better about the world we live in or do we think that by blaming one person or group it won’t happen again? If you stop to notice you will see that this need to blame happens all the time. For example, once the Twin Towers collapsed the discussion quickly turned to blaming the architects and how the buildings were made.

We are only human and as a result I believe it is in our nature to think that people are good at heart. Perhaps that is why mistakes happen and why we are not always prepared for such circumstances. If our society was a little more understanding of this notion I believe the president of Virginia Tech would be able to say, “We just never thought it would happen to us, so we didn’t know how to handle it.” To me, that is fair and honest answer. How is a school ever supposed to be prepared for something like this? We can say, “I would have done this!” or “They should have done that!” but you really don't know what you would do until you actually experience it. The school was delayed in communicating to its students but at this point there is nothing to gain by placing blame.

If you are one of those people that need to place blame, I suggest you could go as far back as our ability to buy guns in the first place. Blame gets people nowhere, it is how you move forward that makes all the difference.

That's what friends are for.

I had the privilege of going to Jamaica to visit a good friend of mine from high school. It had been about 4 years since I had seen her and now that I’m back from a great trip, I started to think about my friends.

When you are in high school it seems like you could never have enough friends. You could have twenty from school, ten from camp, and another bunch from the sports teams you played on. Then you start to go through different stages in your life those numbers start to diminish and let me be the first to say that this is a good thing.

Like many things in life, quality is more important than quantity. By quality I mean the friends that are there for you, that you have fun with, and that support the person you are or want to become. I must say I have some lovely friends. They are each different and brilliant in their own way. I could not imagine my life without my friends.

There are the one’s you go on walks with, the one’s who you call to talk about anything, the one’s that make you laugh, the one’s that stick up for you, and the one’s that know you better than you know yourself. There are also those friends that live far away and those that you only talk to once every few months. However, you still cherish them because you know the moment you see each other again they will fall right back into your life. These are the type of friends that you keep as we get older. We no longer need friends to feel popular but rather to bring happiness into our life.

There was a great article written in Time Magazine in 2004 titled, “The Science of Happiness.” It discussed what science has discovered when it comes to making the human heart sing. Surprisingly it wasn’t a good education, children, marriage or even wealth. The answer was having good friends.

One of my 2007 resolutions is to really cherish my friends or should I say be their #1 fan. We all take things for granted sometimes and as a result we don’t take the time to say what we love and admire about one another. If you agree with me, add it to your 2007 resolutions list… based on research, it will do more for you than going to the gym.

If you had to choose...

If you had to choose one feature that you first notice on a person, what would it be?

Some people say smile. Some say arms, while other say hands. There are also people like my Mum who look at how clean they keep their shoes.

For me it is the eyes, especially on men. I think eyes are the most unique thing a person can have. I guess that it is why it is the one organ on my donor list that I just can’t part with.

Without a person saying a word you can sense what they are like through their eyes. As an old Yiddish proverb says, “The eyes are the mirror of the soul”. You could meet someone that acts tough but when you look into their eyes you know they are actually gentle at heart.

Being the eye enthusiastic that I am, I can say that I do not have a preference. It is all in how they are presented. They could be blue or green or dark brown. However when it comes to men, my test is to look directly into them and if I start to forget about everything else around me...well then it’s love! (I’m a hopeless romantic)