This year more than any other I find that I’m suffering from a terrible thing. Normally it just comes and goes, but lately I just can’t shake it. I’m suffering from a great bout of envy and hoping that someone reading this could provide me with a cure.Envy is often associated with the colour green or a green-eyed monster because nothing good ever comes from it. Envy is definitely different from being jealous. To me jealously is when you are resentful to the people who have what you desire. I'm not that way at all. I’m very happy for all my friends that are successful. Actually, I try to be a super fan for everyone I am close to and will do everything I can to help them. Envy on the other hand is wanting what others have, desiring to possess what they possess. You can be envious of tangible and intangible things like a car, relationships, wealth, and good looks.
I am envious of so many things right now that I’m beginning to realize that I have a problem. I have house envy, vacation envy, car envy, beauty envy, fitness envy, intelligence envy, engagement envy, style envy, and much more.
I know that I'm more fortunate than a lot of people, but after awhile that reasoning is not enough to subside my feelings. I’m grateful for the things that I have been given and have experienced. I’m also proud of what I have accomplished on my own. I’m a smart woman but for some reason I can’t figure out why I'm not perfectly content right now. I’m always looking for the next thing to accomplish, what I can do to improve my life, or looking for something fun and exciting to happen.
If Dr.Phil was reading my entry I’m sure he would say my feelings have something to do with my confidence. If it were Gary Zukav (all from Oprah by the way) he would say that my feelings stem from a fear of something. Maybe they are both right. I do lack confidence in myself. Hence why I thrive in environments where I get constant reassurance and compliments. On some level, I guess I also fear what the future holds for me. But knowing both of these things doesn’t change the way I have been feeling this year. Perhaps it is just another symptom of the quarter life crisis!
Like most things, I'm sure this will eventually pass but in the meantime I need to know if I'm the only one that is experiencing these feelings.
4 comments:
we all go thru spells of discontent, i think thats pretty human of you actually. although envy can take over your life, it can inspire you if you focus on it the right way. it can give you goals to work towards, but you're right that none of us have the right to complain...but i hate that answer, it just makes me feel guilty. we all want what we dont have, but suddenly there will be a moment, and you will look around you and think...this is it. this is what i have. and im happy. this past year was the first time i ever can remember feeling that way in my "adulthood", it comes and goes, but we can keep each other in check ok? cause we really do have 'it' pretty good.
although you know how I feel and seem to be sitting in the same boat...i do want to post a little comment to show my support! I think we all need to live in the moment a little more. Life has a way of working itself out and we have to beleive that, to truly be happy where we are now!
There will always be someone that is more beautiful, more successful, has a newer car, etc. etc. But its important to remember that for every person that is more successful or whatever there are a group of people that are envious of you. And that more successful person or whatever it is probably has someone in their life that they feel envious of!
Its all about keeping the right perspective.
But its nice to know you are human too :)
And if this helps you focus on your goals (the ones you can control anyway) then it is a good thing. But it is all about balance.
p.s. you've inspired me - where is your pilates class?? :)
Hey Jos,
I'll solve all your problems... I can read between the lines here. I know you're TOTALLY envious of how awesome me and the kids are. If it helps, we're used to it. BUT, as your committed friend, I will do this for you. If you don't like the kids you end up having, I'll let you have one of mine. Lord knows I have one to spare...HAHAHA... And STOP being envious of my new car. One day, you too might be the proud owner of a shiny mini van Jos. If you're lucky, it can be a Ford like mine and filled with more baby seats than regular seats. Hold tight to these dreams for they can fade fast Moo.
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