Think first. Speak second.

Have you ever been at the office or out in public and have someone say, "Boy, you look tired today!" We all know this is really code for "Boy, you look like crap today!"

So what happens when you get this comment and you are not tired at all. Do you take it personally?

This happened to me the other day and I felt like saying, "I actually feel pretty good today, but thanks for the feedback". However, being the polite Canadian that I am and not wanting someone to feel uncomfortable, I said that I was feeling very tired.

This blatant disregard for a persons feelings is something I have to discuss. Do people ask questions like this to make themselves feel better or perhaps they want to find out the dirt of why you are tired? Even if the person is tired, don't you think they know that and therefore do not need others pointing it out? Either way, I don't think enough people have watched Bambi to learn the wise lesson of "if you can’t say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

I will be the first to admit that this comment has come out of my own mouth before, but now I am more conscience of it. Instead of saying comments that most people do not want to hear, I try and give comments that make people feel good about themselves. It is a small thing to do, but I know that a compliment goes a long way on me. I try to live by the notion of treating others how I would like to be treated. I compliment people when they get their hair cut, when they have a shirt on that brings out their eyes, or try to remember significant information a person has told me in order to bring it up another time.

These are the comments that should be coming out of our mouths. The kind that makes a persons day.

So next time instead of “Boy, you look tired!” how about saying, “You have a beautiful smile.”

What's your SSB?

My favourite show is and always will be Sex and the City. The title does not do it justice for the brilliant characters and lessons that come out of each and every episode. I know this may sound shocking but I can personally relate to Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and yes, even Samantha.

In one episode, Carrie talks about how all women have a SSB or Secret Single Behaviour. In this instance the word single actually does not refer to your relationship status. The key to an SSB, your Secret Single Behaviour, is that it is something you do indulgently and exclusively when alone because the presence of another person, especially a guy, ruins it because it makes you self-conscious about your utterly bizarre behaviour.

Some examples of SSB include:

• Examining your pores up close in a mirror for at least an hour
• Eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream before it even has a chance to melt
• Singing in front of the mirror with nothing but socks on

I started to think about what my SSB is. Turns out that I do quite a few things to lift my spirits when I'm alone. Perhaps that is why I’m a generally happy person. As much as I love being out on the social circuit, I really cherish my alone time too. As I have said to many of my girlfriends, you have to be comfortable being alone before you can be with someone else (another topic, for another time).

I will not indulge all my SSB’s since then they would no longer be secret, but I will tell you one. I’m a huge lover of music and listening to it makes me super happy. So when I’m alone I love to play my favourite tunes of the moment, then proceed to sing and dance around my house. What makes this bizarre is that most of the time I’m cleaning while I’m performing this little show (yes I am Monica Gellar from Friends - cleaning gives me pleasure!).

So come on readers! Ladies, guys, ‘marrieds’ and ‘singletons’, tell me your SSB and maybe we can help those who need to be inspired.

iPod, DVR, Blackberry...oh my!

I think I sit on the fence when it comes to technology. What I mean when I say that is sometimes I think it is the best thing that has happened to society, but then sometimes I feel that we may have been better off when life was simpler. It is like the paradox of our time i.e. more conveniences but less time.

I can still remember the day when my Grandfather got cable television. He was so frustrated at the amount of new channels that he said he wanted to quote, “Throw a brick at the screen!” Little did he know that in less then twenty years the ten new channels would turn into two hundred plus.

Many argue that as we venture further into the frontier of technology we proceed with a slow death of society, by losing culture and ultimately a sense of self. To a certain extent this may be true, but realistically if we cease to progress will we still be able to survive?

There are so many advantages and disadvantages of technology that it does make for a great topic of discussion. On the positive side, technology has given us the ability to create shortcuts that can make our jobs and daily tasks easier. It has allowed us to not only cure diseases but prolong life. We are able to travel to across the world, communicate with anyone we please, and have access to a vast amount of information 24 hours a day in order to make better decisions.

We all know there is a lot of good, but we have also seen some of the problems with technology and there are still an awful lot of unknowns out there that will be changing by the day.

The biggest problem with technology is that it makes it easier for people to do almost anything, which means that people have less and less to do, which in turn results in more laziness, less activity, less effort,less patience and more free time, which can be taken as being a very unwholesome thing. Technology has also caused a lot of people to lose their jobs, and has created few jobs in return. It has eliminated the notion of personal privacy and caused a lot of people to forget what it is like to truly relax. How many of you can go one week without checking your email or using your cell phone?

The more advanced technology gets, the less control humans have. So if you think about it, technology could backfire on humanity in which humans are unable to live without it.

The one thing that keeps me on the positive side of technology is not HD television or my fabulous iPod, but the kind of technology that keeps you in touch with the people you care about. The best example is my webcam. This little piece of technology allows me to see my niece and sister as often as I want. So even though we are a four hour plane ride away, the webcam allows me to interact with them everyday and therefore I don't miss out on special moments.

So perhaps technology is amoral, neither good nor bad. It’s what we do with it that makes it good or bad. I think everything in moderation is ok. However, if you are unable to do that, at least try your best to use technology for good like sending a text message that makes someone smile or capturing precious moments on your video camera.

As for what the future holds in terms of techonology...we will just have to wait and see.

Doggie Love

We would like to think that in our relationships we give unconditional love, and by that I mean you love your significant other for who they are and don’t want them to change. I have come to the realization that no human being is actually capable of giving such love. The only thing on this earth that can and does is a dog. (Sorry cat-lovers, it is only dogs)

A dog’s love is like no other. They don’t care what you wear, how much money you make, if you are popular or if you are having a good or bad hair day. They just love you for you.

The best example is in their greeting. There is no greater feeling then coming home to a dog. They are over the moon to see you! Even if you were away for two minutes they still give you that loving feeling. They run around with excitement, they make exciting noises and are anxious to get your attention. The best part is that it is sincere. No men are capable of showing such excitement, especially for a woman.

In light of talking about dogs, I would like to say a few words about our newest puppy Tess a.k.a. Tessie shown in the picture. She has helped bring this realization on. Our eldest dog is so sweet and gentle. Tess is crazy, loud, a trouble-maker and in your face, but is also the most loving dog we have ever had. She loves to cuddle and kiss your face. When she sleeps she has to be touching or on one of us, including her sister. During the day she needs to be around us at all times whether we are cooking, working on the computer or having a bath... it is guaranteed that Tess will be there! She just stares at you like she could not love anything more. She basically needs constant love and attention and as much as she can drive me crazy, her sweet face brings out the soft side in me.

Dogs are so much more than pets. They are one of those things in life that make me happy. I may not have a dog when I start a family, but I can acknowledge the level of love they give to the people close to them - it's unconditional. If only men could be this wonderful.